As the new year yawns, stumbles and staggers to it's feet, I look back at a country that seemed so easy to leave. But saying goodbye got me so drunk that I wet the bed at 25. I'd say we're running out of reasons to always be leaving these homes we live in. And of course the year danced wildly out of control, and by the time the summer ends I'm in a shirt and tie again spending days making money, when I hate spending money, though I must admit that I do love good living. But that's more of a feeling these days. Home brewing and not needing to drive a car. Having time to waste, which never gets old when you've got none. Just knowing my way around and being able to leave town.
Track Name: The Borrowers
Something Henry Miller said "always borrow, always lend, and never let your means affect what you want to do next". Well I agree and disagree, cause inactivity's the enemy and lack of funds can often seem like a henchman thereof. But I remember days with my pockets empty doing fine, and all the money that I earned since never seemed to be mine. Ah you'd better look away, there's nothing worse than a man with something to say. When I get paid it only chips away at the monument to modern living that is my debt. And I don't see myself surfacing any time soon, I'll just bide my time and wait for the banks to go under (sigh). I see my thoughts reflected on the chests of local lager louts: in big white letters "Darling, where's my bail out" I guess it's already been spent by the wealthy one percent. So for anybody who listens it's bad shit to get into, but for the rest of us good luck getting out.
Track Name: The Mitigation Committee
Born at the start of the 90s, now he's old enough to drink in the US. He was in year three of a medical degree when I met him and formed an instant dislike. It was already clear that I'd never be a doctor. Hey hey, whatever happened to can do attitude? If we're paralysed by comparing ourselves to one another we're already ready to lose. I try to be generous, so I thought "there goes a guy who doesn't just whine about the things he'll never have" until predictably one day he arrived with such a tirade of excuses and bullshit. He said "I never had a hope". I'd love to hear someone say "It's really not that my life's that difficult, I just find it hard to cope".
Track Name: A Man Like Jack McCall
"Could you please sit down now, you're making a fool out of both of us" I say to myself with my glass already half-raised and some shit on my lips like "here's to the best of the best of us". Fine words for a shitheal who hasn't competed in years. I sit still at the table while all my friends and strangers perform the rite of Friday night all so effortless. I say out loud "you know respect and pride are opposites" but there's nobody listening and I guess I'm slightly relieved cause it's hard to make sense all of the time when your mind's always elsewhere. I'm not so surprised when the bar spits me out of it's front gates. And whilst walking home I catch myself thinking "quite fingering your keys, unclench your fists. You're six foot plus and built to lust, why are you still so scared of everything?" But the night just ignores me as I reach my front door and whisper "I'm never doing that again".